I feel great
I just peed on a car
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
