What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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