That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
