Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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