I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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