Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
