some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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