Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tonight lets celebrate not being married
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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