And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
