how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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