4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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