i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
