i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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