I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I wish my penis had an off switch
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
