Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
