either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
