It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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