If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
