You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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