I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Dicks are not precious.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
