I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
