she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
