I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
