i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
