i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
