apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
