i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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