Me too!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
