how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
