i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
