I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
