just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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