she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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