in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
These tits shall not be calmed
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