just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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