i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
