the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's the barista slut.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
