Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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