I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
