I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
