she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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