I am full of burrito and curiosity
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
