I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
