Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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