I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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