my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
