What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This house was built for laser tag.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
