cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
