im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
