my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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